Our culture is inundated with comfort seeking and strategies to reduce pain. We used to talk about fast food drive thrus and microwaves. Remember, when hard work was required to put together a family meal (still is). Now, we talk about texts and apps. But, comfort seeking is not necessarily related to technology advancements. Many factors of the human condition remain unchanged regardless of the distractions so many point to (like technology). The ups and downs of the life journey remain unchanged. On aside, my step-mother recently reminded me of the peace that comes with a technology-free day.
We have been discussing the importance of embracing adversity in these blog entries. Seeking discomfort is not normal talk. Yet, we are surrounded by courage and fearlessness on a daily basis. If there is a summative point, it is to identify a fear that elicits anxiety and pursue it – this could be dating again (after getting burned in the last relationship), playing ball again (after recovering from severely hurting your ankle), or job seeking (after getting fired by a previously trusted employer). The pain is real. But, the avoidance sustains the pain. Exposure, which requires courage, causes an initial increase of anxiety but then causes anxiety to lessen. Something difficult becomes gradually easier. More importantly, confidence builds and your new life begins to take shape.
Besides taking action, Optimism is a sure-fire way to alleviate the stress felt. I recently gave a talk last week in Minnesota. I invited participants in the seminar to anonymously write down a worry on a piece of paper. A worry written frequently was getting injured on the job. We then had a discussion about how the problem of a colleague getting injured would be approached with optimism and pessimism.
Generally speaking, the optimist sees a setback as temporary, specifically affecting only one area, and due to features of the situation. In contrast, the pessimist sees a setback as permanent, pervasive (affecting all areas), and due to one’s incompetence.
The optimist sees a life victory as permanent, affecting all areas of their life, and due to one’s effort and abilities. The pessimist sees a life victory as temporary, only affecting one area, and due to luck (“the flip of the coin today”).
So, as a group, the participants approached the setback of a staff injury from both sides. The optimist sees the injury as temporary; the pessimist sees the injury as permanent. The optimist sees the injury as affecting only one area and one staff; the pessimist views the injury as affecting the entire organization and staff. The optimist sees the injury as an opportunity to learn and primarily due to uncontrollable circumstances. The pessimist sees the injury as incompetence, your incompetence as well as that of your staff and colleagues.
Optimism is not just “seeing a glass half full.” It has to do with how we think about victories and setbacks. Let’s apply this to anxiety. An optimist would see this anxiety as temporary (NOT PERMANENT), affecting only one area (NOT PERVASIVE), and understandable (NOT DUE TO YOUR IMCOMPETENCE).
We have been discussing the importance of embracing adversity in these blog entries. Seeking discomfort is not normal talk. Yet, we are surrounded by courage and fearlessness on a daily basis. If there is a summative point, it is to identify a fear that elicits anxiety and pursue it – this could be dating again (after getting burned in the last relationship), playing ball again (after recovering from severely hurting your ankle), or job seeking (after getting fired by a previously trusted employer). The pain is real. But, the avoidance sustains the pain. Exposure, which requires courage, causes an initial increase of anxiety but then causes anxiety to lessen. Something difficult becomes gradually easier. More importantly, confidence builds and your new life begins to take shape.
Besides taking action, Optimism is a sure-fire way to alleviate the stress felt. I recently gave a talk last week in Minnesota. I invited participants in the seminar to anonymously write down a worry on a piece of paper. A worry written frequently was getting injured on the job. We then had a discussion about how the problem of a colleague getting injured would be approached with optimism and pessimism.
Generally speaking, the optimist sees a setback as temporary, specifically affecting only one area, and due to features of the situation. In contrast, the pessimist sees a setback as permanent, pervasive (affecting all areas), and due to one’s incompetence.
The optimist sees a life victory as permanent, affecting all areas of their life, and due to one’s effort and abilities. The pessimist sees a life victory as temporary, only affecting one area, and due to luck (“the flip of the coin today”).
So, as a group, the participants approached the setback of a staff injury from both sides. The optimist sees the injury as temporary; the pessimist sees the injury as permanent. The optimist sees the injury as affecting only one area and one staff; the pessimist views the injury as affecting the entire organization and staff. The optimist sees the injury as an opportunity to learn and primarily due to uncontrollable circumstances. The pessimist sees the injury as incompetence, your incompetence as well as that of your staff and colleagues.
Optimism is not just “seeing a glass half full.” It has to do with how we think about victories and setbacks. Let’s apply this to anxiety. An optimist would see this anxiety as temporary (NOT PERMANENT), affecting only one area (NOT PERVASIVE), and understandable (NOT DUE TO YOUR IMCOMPETENCE).
